Obsolete.Biz - Cutting-edge technology* for the World Wide Web

Obsolete.Biz

Cutting-edge technology* for the World Wide Web

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since January 1, 1997

Employee of the Decade

(1993 - 2003*)

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*Trial includes 3.5" floppy demo.

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🚨 Welcome to Obsolete.Biz - Where the Future is Yesterday! 🚨

AI-ish Search™ Technology Experimental

★ ★ ★

Confidence Without Accuracy

We believe “close enough” still counts. Our system returns items that might fit—especially if you squint.

Manual Everything

Our process values repetition, effort, and human endurance. Every task takes TONS time, precision, and tons of unneccesary clicks.

Legacy UX

We preserve the look and feel of classic enterprise software. Busy screens, tiny buttons, and satisfying confusion included.

★ ★ ★

Introducing: Logo Slapping Technology 1.0 New!

Speed-first branding… accuracy sold separately.

OB’s revolutionary (and mildly dangerous) method for applying logos to products: just slap harder. Perfect for teams who value raw velocity over… everything else.

Features include:

Dynamic “Wherever-It-Lands” Placement
BIIIIIIIIG Hand Slap
Paper-Based Logo Cloud Storage
Forehead-Placement Fallback System
10% Brand Guideline Adherance

★ ★ ★

Customer Testimonials

"I used Obsolete Suite 1.0 to make some catalogs for a client and my computer made sounds I’ve never heard before."
— Barb Truck

"It recommended an urn to my client. Can you even brand those? How can I unsubscribe to this?"
— Max Flemm